Pregnancy Update

Today I had my 16-week doctor's appointment. It was such a relief. I don't think pregnancy will ever be the same after having a miscarriage. Those first weeks especially were so scary. I hate to say this, but getting a positive pregnancy test wasn't even exciting this time because I now know that a positive pregnancy test doesn't mean you get a baby. The reality of a miscarriage is too real now. I've also had really bad cramping my entire pregnancy (the doctor says everything is fine) which has made it even more difficult to relax. The weeks leading up to my first appointment were really difficult. It was actually a big step backwards, emotionally, to be pregnant again. It increased my anxiety and it was...every day was just scary because I didn't know. And because I had no indications last time that the baby had passed, I had no indication that things would be okay. I tried to bond to the baby and feel connected but I just couldn't.

However, there were some good things too. It was really healing to go into that first appointment and see a heartbeat. I was incredibly grateful. I will never take pregnancy and especially hearing a heartbeat for granted again. Ah, what a sweet sound that is! At this point I feel pretty relaxed about things. I feel peace. I'm so grateful for Heavenly Father for this opportunity.   

(14.5 weeks)

As far as the pregnancy goes, it's been much better than my pregnancy with Ainsley. At this point with her I had lost 15 pounds, was on multiple anti-vomiting medications, and had to get IVs several times- not to mention I was functioning at about 2% which basically just means existing and throwing up! This pregnancy has still been difficult. I hate most food most of the time (trust me, it sounds more appealing than it is). I am still on anti-vomiting medications and even still throw up several times a day most days. The nausea is constant. I don't sleep very well (despite the insane fatigue) and I'm already feeling the acid reflux and back pain. The headaches are intense. Basically, pregnancy is just hard work. 

Despite all of that, I can't adequately express my gratitude. It takes every ounce of me, but I'm still able to be a mother to Ainsley and keep up with my basic duties. This was one of my biggest fears before getting pregnant. I didn't want her to miss out on having a mom for 9+ months and turn our lives into complete chaos. I'm grateful I'm not as sick as I was when I was pregnant with Ainsley. Although I've had to lower my standards a lot for cleanliness and tidiness in my home, things are fine. I don't do much extra, but I'm able to do the bare minimum which is cause for celebration! I'm able to do what I need to AND grow a healthy baby. Life is good. 

Ainsley is going to be such a great big sister. Clint and I are ecstatic to see her in this new role. She is so naturally nurturing. She is so sweet to her dolls and loves to feed them, change their diapers, rock them, and lay them in their cribs. It melts me. She's also so concerned about others. Today at my doctor's appointment, they were taking my blood pressure and temperature. She didn't know what was going on, but she tried to comfort me. She held my hand and said, "It's okay Momma. Don't worry" over and over. She has a sensitive soul and I think that will serve her well in life. She genuinely loves everyone. She will randomly point to my belly and say, "It's a baby in da tummy!" I don't think she understands, but I think she's still excited! 

We are so excited to add to our family! Thank you for sharing our joy! 

56 hour days.

The picture taken at least 5 years ago when I found out I was pregnant

Clint and I totally shot ourselves in the foot planning for an early baby. I get that now, but it's a little too late. I blame it on the ultrasounds. Looks like we're just getting a very, very big giant monster baby. I was 8lb 10oz at almost 4 weeks early. It's cool though. I love chubby babies. They might even be the best kind of baby. 

Now that I'm just days (yes, not even a week anymore) from my due date, it's getting down to the wire. If I haven't had her by Thursday, we're going to set up an induction for sometime next week. I'm really praying she comes before that. 

So what do your days look like as a 39+ weeks pregnant lady? Let me tell you. They're exciting. It involves a lot of netflix, lots of walking (which includes taking lots of breaks) when the moment is right, and a whole lot of preparation. [By the way, have you ever watched the science of babies or extreme bodies on netflix? Super interesting. I pretty much love learning without the pressures of tests. I've even started learning Spanish. Si, es una camioneta nueva.] 

I don't really know what to say when people ask me if we're all ready for her to come. Like wait, we're supposed to have more than diapers, wipes, and a few outfits? Basically, we still have a lot to do and a lot to buy. Has anyone ever told you how expensive babies are? Holy Moly. We might have to survive the next year on rice alone. 

When people ask me if we have the nursery all decorated and painted and whatnot I'm temped to laugh and say, "Well, you can see the floor now so that's an improvement...and we bought a changing pad cover that has polka dots on it so that's pretty great."

Even though there's still so much to do, I'm so ready for her to come. I've forgotten what it's like to not feel nauseated and have heartburn and back pain 24/7. I know having a newborn will bring its own set of challenges, but I'm ready to be done with this set of challenges. Comprende? I LOVE newborn snuggles and kisses. Let's mix it up, eh? Even though going to school those last few weeks mega pregnant were really, really, reallyreallyreallyreally hard, I'm grateful I had the distraction. Days now seem like they must be at least 56 hours.  

This picture was taken at 38 weeks. I would have taken one at 39 weeks, but I spent that day mostly hunched over the porcelain throne, poppin the Tums, or asleep on the couch. Isn't that a great note to end on? 

Oh! I had this great idea. I told Clint that if I hadn't had her by today, he was taking me on a date. I'm a really great wife, obviously. So as much as I think I rather lay on the couch and sip ginger ale, I'm making myself get dressed and we're going to dinner. I'm excited. It'll most likely be our last night out as a family of two. 

Thank goodness. 

39 weeks of crazy

Oh hey. 

How's it going. 

First, let's answer the question if I've had my baby yet. For your convenience, you can visit this page any time you'd like that answer: http://haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com/

Now that we have that out of the way, you should know that this post may contain some illegitimate thoughts and/or feelings, a whole lot of venting, and possibly even some whining. No doubt it'll also be all over the place. Proceed if you wish. 

You guys, being pregnant is hard. If you read my last post, you know what a blessing I think it is, but still. It's really hard. I am going crazy. The whole semester I kept telling myself that I just had to get through school and I'd have a baby. Well, I got through finals, graduation, and Christmas with no baby. Since she had been measuring so big (over two weeks ahead of schedule) and my due date wasn't very accurate (I talked about this when I posted about finding out I was pregnant) and because my family tends to have babies come early, I thought there was no way I'd make it this far. It doesn't matter how many people tell em it's common to go late with your first. I know logically it's not a big deal. I still have a week till my due date and yadda yadda yadda. That, however, does not take away the crazy (crazy=how I feel). My sister leaves tomorrow to go back to California and I will be really [REALLY] sad if she's not here for the delivery. Clint goes back to school in a week and since we can't afford for him to take more than a few days off of work, it would really help if she was born before he had to juggle work AND school. I'm really nervous about doing things on my own especially in those first few weeks. Plus, having her born this year and getting the tax break would make a big difference. But that stuff is all logical and doesn't even have to do with the physical/emotional side of things. I am miserable. I'm in so much pain. I can't sleep. I wake up coughing so hard on acid reflux that I throw up anything and everything in my tummy. I'm ready to not feel nauseated every second or to not get wicked heartburn after even the smallest sip of water. I'm ready for the back, hip, and knee pain to be gone. I'm ready to see her and know she's okay instead of worrying about things like the placenta detaching. I know it's silly but I haven't been too worried about her until the last few weeks and now I'm constantly worried about things like if she's moving enough. I'm ready to hold my sweet baby and see what she looks like and soak up all those baby snuggles.  Basically, I'm exhausted and I'm done.

One thing that makes it harder is people always asking me how much longer or asking if she's here yet. Trust me. I will tell you when she's here. I know people who ask really do have good intentions and I'm not upset with the people who keep asking, it just makes the time go so much slower. Also, I kind of feel like I'm failing when people want to know the new stats (dilation, effacement, etc) and I STILL haven't progressed in three weeks. It makes it hard to focus on anything else. I'm upset that my body isn't doing what it "should." My last appointment was Thursday and I was crushed when she told me I still hadn't progressed. I cried. Everyone in the waiting room saw as I left, I'm sure. Then I called my husband and cried. I think I'll just be very introverted until this baby comes. I'll live in a shell for the next...however long it takes. Since she's been measuring so gigantic, every day she grows inside me makes me more and more nervous for labor. I mean really. 

The other frustrating things is those dang "labor signs." Seriously, if they were right I would have had this baby long ago. My belly dropped between 33 and 34 weeks and you're "supposed" to have the baby 2-4 weeks after. My weight stabilized- nothing happened. Lots of contractions. I had a burst of energy yesterday- like doing dishes at 6AM energy burst- which means I "should" be in labor about now. Plenty of other "signs" and nothing ever happens. 

In conclusion, maybe you should all cross your fingers I go into labor within the next few hours before I turn permanently crazy. 

Have a nice day :)

Come on baby!!

We're getting down to the wire. That, my friends, is just a little bit insane. We've anticipated this time of the year since April! 

In fact, for the past months we've been trying to convince her to make her birthday yesterday, December 18th. It was the most ideal date for lots of reasons, like family in town, Clint having the most time home, etc. But alas, she thinks she's not done cookin. 

(this was at 37 weeks)

I wanted to give a quick update with how pregnancy is going these days but first I want to say something. I feel like sometimes when I'm real about how hard pregnancy is and how hard my pregnancy has been, people thing I'm ungrateful. I am so incredibly grateful for this little girl. I never knew you could love something so much before even seeing. I really don't mean to be insensitive to anyone. I know a lot of people say they don't like to blog about the hard things because they don't want to remember them, but I disagree with that.

 My college degree isn't such a big accomplishment to me because it was so easy and fun and I sailed through it. It's a big deal because of all those hard times. It's a big deal because of how I felt when I saw my first F on a test and instead of giving up, I worked my butt off and ended up getting a B. It's a big deal because I didn't think I could do it and now I'm graduating with honors. It's a big deal because of how much I've invested in the last 4 years, all the stress, and how HARD it has been. I want to remember those times because that is what contributes to a sense of accomplishment. So yes, believe it or not I do want to remember those nights (like last night) where I only slept for four hours. I want to remember that I threw up 14 times a day. I want to remember that for a whole 9 months I felt absolutely terrible. I want to remember all those hard things because of the purpose behind them. I've done all that for my sweet baby girl. While it's still really really hard, it's an honor to sacrifice for someone you love. What's a bigger accomplishment than becoming a mother? I want to remember how hard I've worked for her and also remember how worth it it has already been. 

(outside of the building where my almost impossible biochemistry class took place)

(stop staring at my kankles, yo! I saw that...)

Ironically, after making that point I don't really feel like talking about my symptoms lately. Maybe we'll just let that sink in. 

But I am making progress! 

She dropped around 34 weeks (a little sooner than average) and it feels like she drops lower every day! Sometimes I feel like she is going to fall out.  

My weight has stabilized. I lost three pounds in a week which can be a sign that labor is fairly soon. Despite the fact that I feel like a whale (and I look like one too), my weight gain is totally in the middle of what's recommended. I'm really looking forward to seeing how much of this is water weight!  

I've been having lots of contractions. Last night they lasted for hours but were pretty mild. And obviously, they went away. Sad face. Still, it's a good sign.

Speaking of contractions, having them so consistently made it really real and It freaked me out a little bit. My whole pregnancy I've pretty much been in survival mode. Survive the sickness. Survive work. Survive school. Now that I'm not working or going to school, I'm able to think about things I was much to busy to before. Like tearing. And episiotomy. That's probably the thing that scares me the most with labor. It gave me a little bit of anxiety. I just need to stay calm and wait for this baby :)

This might be TMI for some people, but most people want to know. I'm dilated to a 1 and the cervix is soft. My body is making little preparations. My doctor said it's not uncommon for first time moms to not really dilate until actual labor so it's a poor sign of how soon it's coming. 

My belly is measuring smaller than average (believe it or not), but she's measuring ahead of schedule. My doctor seemed a little surprised when she told me how big she is. Not gonna lie, it doesn't surprise me one bit. My family has giant monster babies. Who doesn't love a chubby baby right?

 Thank you for all of your love and support :) 

Huge thanks to Annie for my graduation pictures! She is so great :)

An Ultra Super Quick Update

Sup, yo? 

It's finals week.

When a bag of M&Ms becomes a perfectly acceptable dinner. 

Where we trade showering and putting on make up with study time....and then the stress gets to us and we take useless breaks like baking 17 dozen cookies. (say it's not just me)

Where the standard of hygiene is adjusted...see above. 

When you're so stressed that little things like paper cuts make you want to scream at the top of your lungs. 

You know the drill. 

Doing finals AND being 36+ weeks pregnant is like...woah. 

It's really hard.

I'm exhausted. And in pain. And sick. And extremely uncomfortable. I have to sleep A LOTTaking up so much time sleeping is most inconvenient. Problem is, I'm 0% productive without adequate sleep. Pregnancy is getting rough(er) but I'll write about that later. I feel really fortunate to be healthy enough to go to school and finish! Right now I'm just focused on graduation. I'm so close! 

I really appreciate all of you who are cheering me on! 

I'll be back soon!!

[This was at 36 weeks]

Where I don't use gross words

 Today I was going to write about the top 5 places I wouldn't want to go into labor at. The problem is, that has a great potential to be a "TMI" post and would undoubtedly use words like mucous plug and rupturing of membranes. Turns out some people don't like that stuff. For those of you who do, don't worry. My birth story will most likely be a TMI post, even for you. Consider yourself forewarned. 

Instead, I decided to share some of my favorite pictures from a maternity session we had with Marci Dawn Photography (link at bottom of post). Enjoy! 

And try not to focus on the fact that it looks like I just swallowed a whale. I was particularly swollen this day.

 This and the next are my two favorites. I can just see how much my husband loves me! Lucky girl right here!

I'm 35.5 weeks! It's coming soon people!!!!!! 

Marci Dawn Photography: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Marci-Dawn-Photography/351726558190568?fref=ts   (my computer isn't letting me embed it)

Body Image part dos

I'm going to be vain today and talk about body image in pregnancy. 

Honestly, I know I've said before how I was really feeling large. I did feel big, but I still felt like I was doing a good job and that I was still me. 

A switch in me changed about two weeks ago and now I just feel extremely fat. Did you notice there have been no belly pictures lately? I don't know exactly what did it. 

It could be that I've had extremely terrible swelling in my legs and feet. 

I can't even wear normal shoes anymore. I'm outgrowing some of my maternity pants because they get too tight around my calves by the end of the day, but I'll be darned if I wear a skirt and show off my kankles. I feel like it makes me look HUGE. Also, I have absolutely nothing to wear. 

 You see those lines? My skin is literally folding over itself.

(yes, those are finger prints after poking my ankles. And NO, pictures definitely do not do justice to how huge they are)

It could be the endless comments from everyone and their dog lately. Mostly it's about how my belly is too big. My baby must be 10 pounds, minimum. They must have messed up my due date and it was actually yesterday. Once someone was trying to assure me that my hugeness was normal and said "don't worry, I got really big with my first too." Words like huge and unhealthy are often used. People also ask me how much weight I've gained. The answer is actually that I'm right on schedule. Or they ask my due date and when I tell them (how "far" away it is) their eyes get wide. Someone even told me that I really need to be better about exercising. 

So far in pregnancy I've tried really hard to shrug off those comments but they're just stacking up and I'm starting to feel like they're true. When you hear something every day, sometimes more than once, it's hard to shrug it off. Way more people tell me how big I am than that I look good. 

Also, can I just say we should just tell pregnant women they look good no matter what? They're carrying a child for goodness sakes. That's enough reason to tell them they're looking good. 

I'm even getting teary typing this. Maybe it's just hormones. Maybe they play tricks on your eyes. 

No matter what the reason is, I'm trying really hard to remember that the important thing here is that Ainsley and I are healthy. Still, there's part of me that wants to be that cute girl who still wears heels and the cutest outfits at 9 months pregnant. I don't want to be the girl who can only fit into sweat pants for the last two months and always looks like she just got hit by a truck. I want to be an Immortal magical unicorn pregnancy princess fairy, gosh darn it! Honestly, some people get bigger than others in pregnancy. I'm trying to accept the fact that I could very possibly be one of them! I'm trying not to compare myself to the girls who just look like the swallowed a baseball at 9 months pregnant. In about 2 months, I'll have a baby and it won't matter what I looked like pregnant. I'm trying to remember all this!

It's really really really hard. 

Moodiness in Pregnancy

Sometimes people ask me if I've been really moody during my pregnancy.

Sometimes they launch into crazy stories about what their girlfriend/wife/sister did.

(a lot of the time it's guys asking)

The answer is I haven't really been in the way you'd think. Not in the crazy get outta her way kinda deal.

My tear ducts have been more active lately though. For example, the other day I was telling Clint how proud I am of us for managing our money so well and saving and being frugal...and I teared up. A few days ago at school I was telling my friend how sad I was that I wasn't going to be able to see my niece and my nephew in their Halloween costumes (they moved to California last year after Christmas)....and I teared up. Basically if I feel really strongly about something lately, it makes tears well up in my eyes. They're usually gone as quickly as they come... but sometimes it can be embarrassing because I must care a lot about a lot of things.

Sometimes I have my moments. You know the moments where the sound of your husband's chewing drives you bananas and the stench of the stranger's breath next to you make you bonkers?

 You know the part in What to Expect when You're Expecting where she says something like, Gare Bear, I love you so much but if you don't leave me alone I'm going to punch you in the face.

Clint says I've been really good, but if you asked him in private it's possible he would give you a different answer, haha! I would also like to point out the fact that I need to own that movie.

I've been more high maintenance. Part of that probably comes from feeling so lowsy, but I like to hear an extra lot that my husband loves me. I need more help than I used to. Some cupboards are hard to get into. I ask Clint to do more favors....get me water...bring me my computer....put away things for me....that kind of stuff, but it's still not very often.

But the way I have definitely been "moody" is I am super protective of this girl already. Today someone almost crashed into me and I almost put my car in park, climbed into her unrolled window, and took her drivers license out of her wallet because she definitely didn't deserve it. A little fender bender 30 weeks pregnant can be all kinds of awful.

I have lots of driving stories like that. Is it just me or do all the crazies dominate the road?!

There was a creepy security guard at work who said he was looking forward to holding her when I bring her back into visit. I almost used some choice words complete with a 3-snap zig zag. You know the kind. He's really creepy you guys. 

Tonight at work someone came INTO the building smoking. The whole place (even the parking lot) is supposed to be SMOKE FREE. Plus, it doesn't take even half a brain to know you should never go into a building smoking. Had I a fish, I might have slapped her with it. And then jumped over the counter and stomped out her cigarette for dramatic effect while telling her exactly what she was doing to my baby.

People on the train are also crazy. People are always hitting people with bags, pushing, shoving, etc. Sometimes I want to wear a shirt with flashing lights that says "watch the belly." Also, I would carry around a fish should the case call for drastic measures.

Basically, I just want to protect my sweet girl. She's so pure and perfect I want to preserve it for as long as possible. I've worked so hard to get her here and I can't wait to meet her.

uh, this post was totally all over the place. If you didn't understand anything from above, to sum it up: I love my daughter.

Pregnancy update!

It's been a long time since I've done a pregnancy update! Now is a pretty good time, especially because I figure I'm into the 3rd trimester, can I get a woot woot?!?!

[I'm 27 weeks and 3 days. Some places consider 28 weeks 3rd trimester, others 27. my Nutrition in the Lifecycle says it's 27, plus she's due in less than 3 months PLUS it's sooner so I'm sticking with that]

This is at 27 weeks

Every day when I wake up I feel like she has grown SOOO much! I feel like my belly doubles overnight!

Sometimes I think it's super cute and other times I just feel like a beached whale. You win some and you lose some right?

I'm realizing that in these bump pictures I'm always only half smiling. I promise I have a real smile. The problem is Clint takes them on my phone and I can never tell when he's taking one. Glad we cleared that up.

So, symptoms. The fun part.

Lots of aversions still. Smells are powerful. Still nauseous (especially if I have to stand more than a few minutes), but hardly throw up now though. Party time!

I never knew heartburn could be so painful. I would completely stop eating if it would help, but alas, it does not. When it's been too long since I've eaten I get it then too. I have really bad reflux with it as well. My poor esophogus. I also get it just from drinking. I have to sleep propped up to keep the acids down which is uncomfortable but it makes it so I can at least sleep! [That and half a bottle of tums.] It stinks but I'd still take it over throwing up.

My back pain and sciatica have actually been better the last few days! I've been trying to pack really light for school and sleeping on my back has helped too. It's still pretty painful but I'll take any improvement I can get. I also just ordered one of those Boppy belly support bands that will come in especially handy on my long days at school when I have to do a LOT of walking. Have any of you used one of those? Did they work for you?

The fatigue is insane! Most people tell me they're jealous when I tell them I went to bed last night at 8:00, but it's not like I'm doing it for fun. I wouldn't choose to waste 10 hours a day sleeping if I didn't have to, ha! Working and going to school alone don't give me much extra time (as in they DON'T give me any). If I get less than 9 hours of sleep a night, my productivity goes WAY down...like zonked out in class at 10am down. Sometimes sleep is the best use of time. And it's not just a sleepy tired, it's an achy tired. More like the kind you get with the flu or when you're sick. It's not that bad. Again, way better than throwing up 10 times a day.

LOTS of leg cramps! They make me go from dead asleep to screaming in .0057 seconds! Again, inconvenient and super painful for a few minutes, but not that big of a deal.

I've had some of the weird symptoms too. Itchy skin, nosebleeds, dizziness, hot flashes, nightmares.

I'm still having a really hard time balancing everything on my plate. I feel like I've talked about it enough though so I'll leave it there.

We've had some frustrating problems lately with my doctors office and the insurance, but it's getting resolved (hopefully) soon.

There's some more, but that's enough. Basically I'm just crossing my fingers the intense vomiting doesn't come back. I seriously thought I was going to die a slow painful death...and I was 100% convinced she would be our only baby. I even cried like a baby when I told Clint I was positive I couldn't handle another pregnancy. Isn't it cool how making it through the more difficult times gives us perspective? I can already see how worth it it is.

Now onto the fun part! The good parts of da bebe.

I love when strangers point out that I'm pregnant and ask questions. I've had a few bad experiences, but for the most part people are SO nice about it. I love to hear people say how great being a parent is. I am SO excited.

We registered the other day and it was SO fun. I can't wait for baby baths and baby dressing and baby food and baby blankets and everything baby!

People have shown us so much love and support! I've had a few especially kind friends bring us dinner. I cannot tell you how much we appreciate that! I've had friends send me texts or calls just to check up on me. It's so nice to feel loved while you're going through a difficult time. I know Heavenly Father has helped so much too. There's no way I would be holding up so well if it weren't for some divine intervention! :)

Ainsley moves like a crazy person right now. Fun fact: pretty much the exact same time I lay down to go to sleep is when she decides it'd be a good time to practice her aerobics routine. From what I can tell, she's really good. Her movements are stronger now and really obvious to the outside. Yesterday I was studying and had my laptop resting against my belly and she totally kicked it off! We're able to guess what body parts are too, which is fun. When she pushes out if it's thin we guess an arm or leg and if it's bigger it usually feels more like her bum or head. I hope she doesn't mind, but I love poking her and playing games with her. I talk to her a lot. She probably thinks her mom is crazy. 

I already love her so much, it's insane. I didn't know it would be like this, but I'm so grateful it is. Can't wait to hold my baby girl.  

Immortal magical unicorn pregnancy princess fairies

At my first OB appointment, I got a bunch of magazines.

Baby magazines

Pregnancy magazines

Sales Catalogues

One thing they all had in common, well besides being about babies and pregnancy, was they all had pregnant women in them.

Let's just talk about this for a minute.

First, the subject of pregnancy nudity. How is it all of a sudden okay to have naked (aside from a strategically placed hand or logo) women everywhere? This doesn't mean I don't think pregnancy and bodies are beautiful. I could just do without the nudity. Anyone else?

Second. 

These women are not normal, probably not even human.

They look mega sexy [see nudity tangent above] while I...haven't shaved my legs in two weeks.

They managed to put on a 15 layer outfit when I can hardly pull up my pants.

They have perfectly "glowing" skin and hair while I have acne, grays, and have lost basically all my precious blonde.

They look full of life and energy while I am ready to pass out by noon. And by noon I mean at about 9am.

They exercise in tiny workout "clothes" while I consider walking to classes in comfy t-shirt dresses more exercise than prudent.

They cook meals of quinoa, swiss chard, butternut squash and tofu while I consider eating more than a serving of veggies a day a victory over gag reflexes everywhere.

[I thought about inserting some images here of "pregnant women", but they're just too painful. Pick up your nearest issues of Fit Pregnancy and you'll know what I mean]

To cope with these traumatic visuals, at first I just figured these women weren't actually pregnant and were just models with pillows stuffed under their designer dresses. The problem is there's a lot of pictures that expose the bellies. They look kind of real.

So, I've concluded they're just

Immortal Magical Unicorn Pregnancy Princess Fairies

Really, it's the only logical solution.