Life around here has been insane.
I've been doing this whole baby things pretty much on my own. I'm not saying that to throw my husband under the bus. He's the first to point it out. We both know he'd be doing much more if he could but the truth is he hasn't made it to bed before midnight since who knows when. School is kicking his trash. He has a huge project he's working on that sucks up every spare drop of what could possibly, maybe turn into a spare second. It doesn't leave much time for dishes and diapers and bath time and dinner and whatnot. I'm really proud of him for all he's doing right now.
Plus, everyone knows life is harder the less sleep you get. Ainsley has been sleeping much better lately (overall) but now she's decided 4am is time to get up for the day no matter what time I put her down. She's up for several hours and then will go back down for a nap for about two hours (what she's doing now) but the problem is by that time I can't go back to sleep. Trust me, I just wasted an hour trying to. It's frustrating when your body just won't let you sleep.
The weight of the chores and babytakingcareof has been put on me. Can I just tell you I'm so tired of laundry and dishes and mopping and vaccuming and running errands and everythingelsebigkidshavetodo! My baby can't even sit up on her own yet and somehow the house is at least a hundred times harder to keep clean. I feel like I'm running in circles.
I'm still having a really hard time accepting my post-baby body. So many of my friends were back to normal within a few shorts months and I notice no difference from now and two weeks post partum despite exercising every day and eating healthy. My husband asked me why I care so much because this is not normally like me. I admittedly didn't love my body before but I accepted it. Now I can hardly think about anything besides wanting to be skinny for longer than five minutes. The PPD I've had to top it all off probably doesn't help so much. Those hormones are some intense stuff. Things since my brothers accident have been really scary too. He's been much stronger than I think I would be in the situation. Emotionally life has been more exhausting than physically, although that's true too.
So last night I had a little breakdown triggered by my ingrown toenails that I've gotten from so much walking and running. It hurts to step. HAVE YOU EVER HAD THEM?! They're competition with labor pains, let me tell you.
I would say it was like the straw that broke the camels back, but it's more like the bat that beat the camel to death and left it for dead in the middle of the Sahara.
Since there's no ecard to top it off with,
I hate to be a negative Nancy, but I'm tired dude.