The hardest part take two?

Do you guys remember this post I wrote when Clint and I were engaged about being concerned about being able to spend enough time together? People were giving me advice on what the hardest part of what marriage would be. I disagreed and guessed that it would be not having enough time to spend together. (if you haven't read it, or need a refresher, do that first). Well, I just want to go ahead and give myself a big pat on the back for being right!

Our first almost year of marriage has been fabulous! Seriously! I love it and I wouldn't change it for anything, but I really think the biggest challenge is simply that we just don't have enough time. We both have demanding school schedules, jobs, callings for church, family responsibilities, I have health issues that take a lot of time, then of course there's cooking, cleaning, errands, paying bills, and the list goes on for what seems like a mile. All those things are super important and quite frankly, not optional. It's not like we can just ditch tests or just live in tornado (read: crazy messy apartment) because we need to spend time together. We just have to do the best that we can with what we have.

Lately it's been extra hard. Until last weekend, we hadn't been on a date since Valentines and I don't mean we hadn't gone out I mean we hadn't really spent any time together. Every weekend was spent with me either sick in bed or both of us working on homework like crazy people. Maybe we took a 20 minute break to watch modern family while folding some laundry or doing the dishes. And honestly, I hate to say this, but I feel like the less time we spend together the more our marriage feels mundane. And I hate using that word because I feel like it sends the message I'm not totally happy with my husband and crazy in love with him! That's not true because I totally am! That boy still gives me butterflies!

 But when we don't get to spend any time together and the extent of our conversation is talking about what big test is coming up or how stressed we are about this assignment or how filthy the dishes have gotten...it just feels more mundane and less exciting. Not that a marriage needs to always be exciting but you know what I mean, right? You need time together to feel that love for each other. That's a better way to put it.

So the problem is identified, that's the easy part. But how do you solve it? They need to make a handbook for these sorts of things. I mean I'd like to say it's just for now and that's true to some extent. This might be the busiest we are, but it might not be. Just like I said in my post before, we are each other's priority! I think it's harder to remember that when the feedback isn't immediate. You study for a test, bam you get your grade back. Go to work, get a paycheck. Cancel a date with your spouse, don't really see how it affects your marriage right away. Know what I mean? I don't really know why I'm writing this. I guess sometimes I can express things better on this blog than I can otherwise.

And seriously, this is real life. No ones marriage is perfect and I don't attempt to paint ours as such. We love each other like crazy, that's for sure! Do any of you watch The Bachelor? I watched the finale and it was ridiculous. It always is. But this time Ben said something so dumb. As far as the situation with Courtney goes, he said it wasn't that there was anything wrong with them, it was their circumstances. Well, yeah. DUH! If we lived in a perfect world, a heckuva lot of our problems would go away now wouldn't they and we would all just have perfect lives, eh? There's a lot we can't change, we just have to do the best with what we can. Clint and I are planning on fully soaking up Spring break! I feel slightly irresponsible taking a few days off of work and whatnot, but sometimes time off is just worth more! And investment, if you will :)

Now go hug your lover!

What do you think the hardest part about marriage/relationships are?