Friday, December 30, 2011

My heart is sad.

When I got engaged, my sister was the first person I told.
When my sister got pregnant with her first, I was the first person she told.
When I got in my car accident, she rushed to the hospital.
When my sister was in the hospital with toxemia before lilly was born, I visted her every day.
I've never had anyone else cut my hair since I was 13.
I've babysat her kids more times than I could count.
I was there when Lilly was born. [I was downstairs in the ER when Max was born]
She loaned me money once to pay my tuition.
She helped an insane amount with my wedding.


What I'm getting at is that she's always there for me. She's so unselfish and giving towards me. She definitely has her own way of showing it, but I know she loves me. She's my best friend.
She moved yesterday.
I balled my eyes out all day.
[thankfully I held it together for Clint's family pictures]
I held it together all through helping her move but when we said good-bye we both lost it.

I can't imagine how the above situations would have been different without her here.
I keep thinking about how our kids won't get to be playmates now. How we can't meet for playdates on a random weekday. How she's not going to be down the street if I need something. How I'm not going to be just down the street if she needs something. How I don't get to be there when Max learns to walk. to talk. I don't get to be there on Lilly's first day of school. I don't get to see them change in the same way.
How when my car breaks down I'll have to call someone else.
 How if I need someone to go to the scary lady doctor with me, I have to find someone else.
If I have a bad day and need a friend to go out to lunch with, I have to ask someone else.
I basically never go shopping with anyone else.
I know we're still sisters and can still be great friends, but this move changes a lot of things. I know there's a lot of things to be optimistic about. It'll be fun to go visit her and all that. But right now I'm not in the mood to think about that. I just want to be sad and miss her for awhile.
[not in chronological order]









[Jenna, if you're reading this we need to take more pictures together. I had to go back a million years for all these random pictures!]

Do you have a sister? Do you love her as much as I do?
Seriously doubt it.

22 comments:

Amanda said...

I'm sorry that your heart is sad :( But distance makes the heart grow fonder? Something like that :) Happy almost new year!

Elizabeth and Kyle @ Love Is the Adventure said...

Wow, I think that would be really hard for me, too. I don't have a sister but I always wished I did, especially one that is as close to you and sweet as your sister! Hope you're doing okay! :)

jordan elizabeth. said...

i just got into my top choice graduate program with a full-ride...living expenses and all...and it means leaving my three sisters (my best friends) in north carolina for alabama (12 hours away!)

i feel like i'm going to be missing out on everything...like my nephew growing up...girl's nights with my sister.

hang in there.

Nikskie said...

after graduated from college my sister got back to bali. we went to the same city for college. when she graduated i was a sophomore. she's my best friend and i miss her everyday. we used to do everything together. the first few days were the hardest time. but after sometimes i was drown to my activities and it's getting better everyday. i hope you're doing okay.

Ashley said...

That happened to me. My sister and I had rooms in the basement, she was across the hall from me for whenever I needed anything. We shared the bathroom when getting ready in the morning, and we almost ALWAYS went through the same things with friends, boys, school, etc. She got married almost 2 years ago, and that night was horrid. I cried SO hard! My mom would always tell me, "Don't lock the door, Linsey still has to come home." And that night I looked at my mom and said, "I have to lock the door now." And just bawled my eyes out. It was really hard at first without her. So I completely understand!

Gentri said...

Actually, I do have a sister, two in fact, and I COMPLETELY know the feeling. They are my best friends and I don't know what I'd do without them. My older sister lives with her cute little family in St. Louis and haven't "lived" in Utah for 6 years. I hate it.
(I will admit that it's a good excuse to take a vacation and see them. But that's the only up side)

Carlie said...

Oh my gosh. This post made me sad/almost cry about my move to Dallas all over again. My sister and I have a very close relationship and so it was extremely hard to move away from her this past summer. Why are they moving? I think I remember you saying why once but I can't remember what it was.

Amber and Scott said...

I am an only child, as is my husband, and we've never known what we've been missing, but every time someone posts something like this, I feel like I DO get a glimpse into that kind of relationship, and I very much wish I had it. It's just me, alone, ultimately, in this big bad world, and it will always be that way.

Erin said...

It is always so hard when we are distance from those we love. I love how close the two of you are and that love....it will make the distance a little easier. :) No distance could ever change that girl!

Emmett Katherine said...

awww I can totally relate to this post. When my sister moved to the other side of the country I was so sad. She's still your sister and that will never change :)

Dawniepants said...

awwwwwwwwwwww!
Oh I'm sorry your sister has moved but I have no doubt you two will still be close as ever. What a lovely relationship you guys have. Take it from me as an only child, I'm jealous.

dp xx

Ashley said...

This was such a sweet post. I have a sister and I hope one day that we can have a relationship like this.

Susan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Katie said...

Aww sad :( But so so sweet. You are totally allowed to miss her. And be sad for as long as you need. I wish I had a sister!

Kara said...

This post made me cry! I love my sister too and couldn't imagine my life without her. Sure we've lived halfway across the country for half of our lives, but we're still sisters. I love her more than anything!

The Dayleys said...

I can only imagine what you are going through. My sister 'nanna' is my best friend. I'd be devastated if we didn't live near each other! My heart goes out to you!!

Purposely at Home said...

wow. this made me tear up just reading this. my sissy and i are VERY close too and i can so feel for you. if she ever moved away, i think i would have to pack my bags and move right along with her! i often think of what will happen when we both get married...all i have to say is: she HAS to find a country boy who lives around here and not some far off place! ;D i hope you find peace and know that she still will always be there for you...even if she does live aways away. :) happy new year, my friend!

xo
purposelyathome.blogspot.com

Nicole said...

ok seriously. I GET IT GIRL.

my sister is about 2.5 years younger than me. but we have always been ridiculously close. we shared a room ALWAYS. shared a bed for most of our lives.

when i moved to china for six months, it was so miserable. then she moved to mexico last february. i got married in june. do you know how MISERABLE it is to plan your wedding without your best friend?! HORRIBLE. then when we got back from our honeymoon, she was already gone to mexico.

she came home for christmas just this year for two weeks. do you know how miserable i was when she left again?! now she's dating a guy from CA. which is where they will probably end up long term.

so yeah. i know everyone's situation is different. but i pretty much know what it is like to miss your best friend every.single.day.

praying for you.
xoxo

Nicole said...

ok seriously. I GET IT GIRL.

my sister is about 2.5 years younger than me. but we have always been ridiculously close. we shared a room ALWAYS. shared a bed for most of our lives.

when i moved to china for six months, it was so miserable. then she moved to mexico last february. i got married in june. do you know how MISERABLE it is to plan your wedding without your best friend?! HORRIBLE. then when we got back from our honeymoon, she was already gone to mexico.

she came home for christmas just this year for two weeks. do you know how miserable i was when she left again?! now she's dating a guy from CA. which is where they will probably end up long term.

so yeah. i know everyone's situation is different. but i pretty much know what it is like to miss your best friend every.single.day.

praying for you.
xoxo

Andrea said...

Aw, this makes me really wish I had a sister..like a BLOOD one, you know? Sounds like you two have such a wonderful relationship that living far apart from one another will only make you closer! AND also...it might help you really treasure the moments you spend together in the future. Loves!! ;)

Morgan said...

That's tough! I have 2 sisters and I love them both so very much. One of them just got married last summer and her husband does not like me so I don't get to see her very much anymore which makes me very sad. We were best friends in high school (we're only a year and a half apart), but he has pulled her apart from all of my family.

I'm so sorry that you are missing your sister and that she is so far away from you. Hopefully someday soon she will be moving back near you.

Ashley said...

I'm not sure I can fully relate to this since I don't have a sister, but I can see how your heart hurts! Sounds like you two have an awesome relationship & I'm sure a move won't change a thing :)

P.S. Thanks for your cute comment on my blog :) I'm now following yours!