Wednesday, May 4, 2011

How come?

If you think all blog posts should be filled with rainbows and sunshine, you should probably stop reading now.

How come that we, as women, feel like our imperfections make us lesser of a person?
Really. Why does a little "pooch" on our stomachs or a zit or two make us feel so horrible about ourselves? I wish I knew, because then maybe I could stop it. Why is it so much easier to see beauty in others then in ourselves. I don't think I've ever met an ugly person, aside from maybe the face I see every morning in the mirror. Really, I think everyone has beautiful attributes. 

all copyrights go to Dove.

I think Dove is awesome for doing the campaign for real beauty. But if I'm being honest, these pictures don't make me feel beautiful. I just compare myself to them.
Is her body better than mine?
 She has nicer ____ than me. 
I'd love to embody confidence, strength, beauty and grace. But the truth is, I'm just your average insecure 21 year old. Most days I'm confident enough and think I'm pretty enough, but every once in awhile I have weak days like today. The good news is that I'm working on it and I want to be better about it. I know logically that people aren't disgusted by me when they look at me[and even that some find me pretty] , but that doesn't stop me from feeling that way.

Any tips? I know you're way stronger than me!

And just to lighten the mood:
I seriously love this song.


Kaisha said...

I can honestly say that I am in the exact same position as you... and it sucks! I have found though, that the best thing to do is treat your body as well as you can. Exercise and eat right, and sometimes treat yourself when you feel like it. If you are doing as much as you can to "be healthy", then a healthy mind is sure to follow. I struggle to think of myself as beautiful, but its a step we all really need to take. Don't let these days get you down! Good luck x

Gentri said...

I so know how you feel. I think every woman out there can relate to this. I was doing the same thing
With these pictures and was glad to see I wasn't alone in still comparing when that isn't the point. I know that were all beautiful and have special features physically, mentally, and spiritually that make us amazing. You have a great following on your blog because people love you. You are kind, funny, interesting, and obviously a person that people want to be around (in the blog world and the real world). Remember that Heavenly Father doesn't give us those feelings of self doubt and he only wants us to love ourselves, because it's easier to love others when you love yourself. You are amazing and GORGEOUS inside and out and I'm lucky to call you my bloggy friend! :)

Lance said...

I remember Grandma Barb told me something that I'll never forget. She said "Don't judge your insides by other peoples outsides." The absolute truth is that everyone suffers. Everyone has something that they wish they could change, but in order to be happy we have to embrace our imperfections. We have to exercise good mental hygiene by thinking thoughts that lift us and prepare us for tomorrow, rather than thoughts that make us feel inferior. Our conscious mind is only entittled to one thought at a time ( the subconscious is a totally different story). I used to really struggle, more than one could imagine, but by applying these principles I have self confidence and I'm much happier. I still struggle, but a positive opinion of my self is priceless.

elise said...

I totally hear ya. I'm so good at comparing myself to other girls. And they're always "better" than me. And if I break out, I instantly feel like hiding away in my room for the next couple days. I feel like there's no point in even trying to make friends, because why would anyone want to be friends with someone who has an awful break out? Right? Stupid Satan, always killing our self-esteem.

Emma said...

That video is so funny! Love it!

Confession: I feel like that sometimes too...crazy right?

Confession: I was sometimes soooo jealous of you and how gorgeous you are and how perfect your hair always is!

Whenever you feel that way, tell Clint to tell you how beautiful you are. I promise he will!

Melissa: Write it in Lipstick said...

you know I think it's normal to feel that way sometimes I am not happy with what I see but I know it helps when I ask my husband what he thinks and he makes me feel pretty again :)

Write it in Lipstick

Amy said...

I love you for posting this! I can't go a day without wishing something about my appearance was different. We all compare ourselves to one another -not that it makes it okay, but it's totally normal. I was once told that if we didn't have flaws in our appearance (more like what WE THINK are flaws in our appearance), we couldn't be humble. It's sad that instead of humility, these flaws often lead us to low self-esteem. We were each created, with unique physical qualities, some of which are qualities that the world considers "ugly." It's easier said than done, but it's important to not look at what the world might see in you (or what YOU see in you). What matters is what Heavenly Father sees in you. I guess we just need to accept the way we look, because no matter how cliche it is to say this, everyone is beautiful. We are all His children. :)

Emily Empey said...

Love the song!! Great post... Why are we so hard on ourselves? Society has "defined what we SHOULD look like" and it sucks... But we need to have self esteem and feel like we are worth something- we dont have to be perfect but we are all beautiful!

Michelle O said...

Thank you for this... It really make me feel good/better to see other women and hear your words. Happy almost Friday. New follower


Jennifer said...

I really do love Dove's campaign. I think it is so wonderful!

Nikki & Drew said...

then stop feeling that way! just say, "satan get out of my head!" problem solved! there is no reason to feel insecure. you just have to learn to love yourself. once you do you won't think badly towards yourself. I know you like to be a people pleaser in the sense that you like people to always think good things about you, which is fine. but at some point you have to be like, man I don't have time for you to be down on me like this. then get over it. people can't offend you without your permission.

sure I have thought, well maybe if my face wasn't so round... but honestly I wouldn't change it. know why? my grandpa rasmussen (whom I very much admire) was a round faced man. and that round face came from his daddy who came straight from Denmark! there is family pride in this round face of mine! so even though I had a name change due to marriage, this face still shows that I am in deed a Rasmussen, so why would I want to change that. I'm proud of the family I come from.

you just have to have pride in yourself. you can't let others define you. you define yourself.

"if you don't like something, change it. if you can't change it, accept it."

katielizabethawkes said...

i adore the dove campaign and its videos. i think media has killed the heck out of everyone's self esteem.

in any case, i just try to remind myself i am not colored by one aspect of myself. i am not a zit on my face. i am not a bad hair day. i am not bony feet or a flat chest, etc etc. i just tell myself. me with a zit, me with bad hair...still me. And when i start to think i am a zit or fuzzy hair or bony feet, i make myself stop looking in the mirror and think about something else.

cailen ascher said...

fabulous post! i write about being the best version of yourself a lot on my blog - beccause it's something we all are working on. for me, it's all about being kind to myself - eating well, exercising a bit and trying to have a positive outlook.

thanks for this post - it's so true and so needed.


cailen ascher said...

ps i <3 mika

The Soul Anchor said...

Here's the problem with those dove commercials about real beauty: It's a hypocritical marketing scam. Because the company that owns Dove also owns Fair & Lovely. Have you heard of Fair & Lovely? Chances are, most white people haven't. It's a bleaching/skin lightening cream for minority women to make their skin lighter. On Youtube you can find a commercial for Fair & Lovely that aired in India. You don't need to understand Hindi to know what's going on.

An Indian woman tries to get a job and she gets rejected over and over again. So she uses Fair & Lovely and her skin lightens and she looks "Radiant" and next to being White. Suddenly, she has a successful job and is turning the heads of men. For being whiter.

Agian, Dove and Fair & Lovely are owned by the same company. Disgusting, right? They'll use our insecurities in either direction -- acceptance or change -- just to make money off of us.

I hate Dove.

Love Unawakened said...

So very true... great post!