Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Come on baby!!

We're getting down to the wire. That, my friends, is just a little bit insane. We've anticipated this time of the year since April! 
In fact, for the past months we've been trying to convince her to make her birthday yesterday, December 18th. It was the most ideal date for lots of reasons, like family in town, Clint having the most time home, etc. But alas, she thinks she's not done cookin. 
(this was at 37 weeks)
I wanted to give a quick update with how pregnancy is going these days but first I want to say something. I feel like sometimes when I'm real about how hard pregnancy is and how hard my pregnancy has been, people thing I'm ungrateful. I am so incredibly grateful for this little girl. I never knew you could love something so much before even seeing. I really don't mean to be insensitive to anyone. I know a lot of people say they don't like to blog about the hard things because they don't want to remember them, but I disagree with that.

 My college degree isn't such a big accomplishment to me because it was so easy and fun and I sailed through it. It's a big deal because of all those hard times. It's a big deal because of how I felt when I saw my first F on a test and instead of giving up, I worked my butt off and ended up getting a B. It's a big deal because I didn't think I could do it and now I'm graduating with honors. It's a big deal because of how much I've invested in the last 4 years, all the stress, and how HARD it has been. I want to remember those times because that is what contributes to a sense of accomplishment. So yes, believe it or not I do want to remember those nights (like last night) where I only slept for four hours. I want to remember that I threw up 14 times a day. I want to remember that for a whole 9 months I felt absolutely terrible. I want to remember all those hard things because of the purpose behind them. I've done all that for my sweet baby girl. While it's still really really hard, it's an honor to sacrifice for someone you love. What's a bigger accomplishment than becoming a mother? I want to remember how hard I've worked for her and also remember how worth it it has already been. 
(outside of the building where my almost impossible biochemistry class took place)
(stop staring at my kankles, yo! I saw that...)

Ironically, after making that point I don't really feel like talking about my symptoms lately. Maybe we'll just let that sink in. 

But I am making progress! 
She dropped around 34 weeks (a little sooner than average) and it feels like she drops lower every day! Sometimes I feel like she is going to fall out.  
My weight has stabilized. I lost three pounds in a week which can be a sign that labor is fairly soon. Despite the fact that I feel like a whale (and I look like one too), my weight gain is totally in the middle of what's recommended. I'm really looking forward to seeing how much of this is water weight!  
I've been having lots of contractions. Last night they lasted for hours but were pretty mild. And obviously, they went away. Sad face. Still, it's a good sign.
Speaking of contractions, having them so consistently made it really real and It freaked me out a little bit. My whole pregnancy I've pretty much been in survival mode. Survive the sickness. Survive work. Survive school. Now that I'm not working or going to school, I'm able to think about things I was much to busy to before. Like tearing. And episiotomy. That's probably the thing that scares me the most with labor. It gave me a little bit of anxiety. I just need to stay calm and wait for this baby :)
This might be TMI for some people, but most people want to know. I'm dilated to a 1 and the cervix is soft. My body is making little preparations. My doctor said it's not uncommon for first time moms to not really dilate until actual labor so it's a poor sign of how soon it's coming. 
My belly is measuring smaller than average (believe it or not), but she's measuring ahead of schedule. My doctor seemed a little surprised when she told me how big she is. Not gonna lie, it doesn't surprise me one bit. My family has giant monster babies. Who doesn't love a chubby baby right?
 Thank you for all of your love and support :) 
Huge thanks to Annie for my graduation pictures! She is so great :)


Denise said...

I am officially on the look out for pictures of your sweet baby girl. You could have her any time now! And you look fab as always. I started dialating at 38 weeks and my cervix was soft and I was ready to go, I ended up having a C section ha but I hear tearing isn't all that bad if you have an epidural. Congratulations on graduating with honors. So cool!! Good luck with labor and delivery! :)

Nikki & Drew said...

She's right, tearing isn't bad with an epidural. I didn't even know until I saw him pulling the needle back. Haha but it wasn't that sore either. From what I've read it's better to tear than have an episiotomy. A lot of ppl that get one still up tearing too!

As long as she doesn't have a huge head like her cousin, I think you'll be fine :)

nicole said...

ok first of all, your pregnant self is adorable, and annie really did a GREAT job with your pictures!!!! the black and white cap and gown pic is classic and timeless!

secondly, i'm a nurse and i went to nursing school and i have done and seen and talked about really gross, scary things. heck, i accidentally knocked off a couple of gangrene toes one time! but let me tell you, when we were talking about episiotomies in class and she went on and on about them, i got soooo nauseas and almost threw up hahhaa... so my fingers are crossed that's not an issue for you!! you'll be great! love you

Tia said...

Hey! Be patient, I know how you feel though :) Landon was about 1 pound to 1 pound and a half under weight than they predicted, so don't worry a lot about that. But chubby babies are definitely cute! What I was going to tell you last week (that I couldn't remember when I lost my train of thought), is to walk a lot! I know you don't have a lot of energy and are swollen, as was I, but bundle up and go on a short walk every night with Clint. It will help you feel tons better and I feel like it helped me dilate/efface before labor. And about the episiotomy, just talk to your doctor and express your concerns about not wanting one "routinely". But if it is needed, then trust your doctor's judgement. And coming from someone who tore nearly as bad as you can, I survived, and believe it or not, it was not nearly as bad as I had anticipated. So you will do great! Just trust your body to know how to do it all, it will!

LaynahRose said...

You are superwoman. Congratulations on your graduation! I remember reading along for a while, with all the hurdles you've had that is such a big deal! And call me crazy but I happen to enjoy the TMI details :) Soo interesting since I've never had a baby. Btw...I recently helped three women give birth and 2/3 of those women needed an episiotomy but didn't even feel it. Have you heard of those "massages" that supposedly reduce the risk of tearing? I don't know much about them but it might be worth a try? Good luck!

Anna said...

Congrats on the degree! I love the pictures and I love this honest post. It's true, the stuff that we had to work at or struggle through are THAT much more worth it. It wouldn't be the same if it were easy. :)
Yay for chubby babies!

Sean and Deana said...

You are amazing! I don't know how you did school and pregnancy at the same time. kuddos to you for all your hardwork! Can't wait to see pictures of your sweet one. Hope she comes soon! Also I like TMI posts haha. Guess I like to be all up in peoples business. Oh and I was so scared of tearing or an episiotomy but when it came time I didn't think twice about it. I did the natural birth so nadda drugs. By the time I was pushing I couldn't even feel anything "down there" so when the dr did the episiotomy I didn't even notice. (she asked before doing it of course but i didn't know she did it right away). I was too busy getting ready to push to notice any pain other than the contractions. Also it heals fairly quickly.

Emma Frances said...

You look GREAT! And you are seriously amazing! Graduating and being pregnant! Wow!! :) And I agree that remembering the hard things is important! I'm praying this baby girl makes her arrival soon!!

karajean said...

You are so right. Sometimes our hardest trials bring our greatest blessings and IT'S OKAY TO TALK ABOUT IT.

I am so so so so excited for you. Hope she comes soon!

Emily Mae said...

Congrats on your accomplishments!

Don't worry about making someone squeamish, if they can't handle how a women's body works that is there problem. I can't wait to hear the birth story of you and your lil girl!

Kari said...

Congrats again on graduating!!

And ya know what, I love being pregnant and growing our precious little baby. Do I love the back aches, the constipation, the round ligament pain, and the gumption it takes for me to change positions now? No I don't! It's part of it, yes, but just as I embrace the amazingness, I feel like it's fair to call out the not to fun-ness that comes with it. Being pregnant is hard sometimes and it's not easy. It doesn't mean you're complaining or being negative at all-it's called being honest. ;)

And for the record-I do fine thinking about labor and delivery...then I watch old episodes of 16 and Pregnant. Then my husband comes home to me crying going,"DID YOU HEAR HOW LOUD SHE WAS SCREAMING FOR AN EPIDURAL?!". hahaha I think he's going to be put a child lock on those shows if I don't get it together soon. ;)

PS I hope I look as great as you do at 37 weeks, dear!