Background info coming. Before I get serious, I want to share the funny part.
I had plans to make the perfect dinner tonight. I thawed the fish, got the veggies, and looked up recipes. It didn't happen. Clint told me that he appreciated me thinking of making him a special dinner and very seriously said:
I really think it's the thought that counts.
after a pause I replied,
Yeah? Well, I've also been thinking about buying you an awesome car, and maybe a boat, and a trip back to Hawaii...
And of course we both start laughing because, let's face it, sometimes I'm funny.
Want some more funny? Watch this!
Down to the serious part.
Today I had perfect plans to be the perfect wife/student/everything.
I came home, wrote my to-do list, and got to work.
I started with dishes.
After loading and starting the dishwasher, I started hand washing our no dishwasher knives.
I was scrubbing a serrated snife when my hand slipped. I looked down and my finger was immediately covered in blood. crap. I immediately grabbed [and by doing so ruined] the closest dish rag. I applied pressure for a few minutes until the bleeding stopped or at least tapered off. I bandaged it up and now it's all good, aside from the throbbing pain! Ouch. Anyway. Needless to say my plans for being perfect were tossed out the window pretty quick. Turns out it's pretty hard to do everything with your left hand...especially when you're right handed.
Am I the only one who always gets big road blocks whenever I plan on being perfect? Maybe Heavenly Father is trying to tell me to be easier on myself. To have the courage to be imperfect. I think that takes courage. I've been trying a new thing lately. If you compare your worth to what other people think, you will most likely feel like a failure. There will always be someone other there that doesn't like you. If you compare your worth on what you think, if you're anything like me, again you will feel like you have failed. Lately, I've been trying to think of myself through God's eyes. At the end of the day I think,
"How have I done today? Is Heavenly Father proud of me and where I am now? What does he think I'm worth? I make mistakes, but what's the big picture?"
I feel HE is really the only place we can turn for an un-skewed view of ourselves.
What have I found? I'm not as bad as I make myself out to be. I think Heavenly Father is proud of my efforts. I think he'd be proud of yours too.
p.s. I like to visit memory lane every now and then.