Saturday, September 3, 2011

Plan B. Not the birth control kind.

Originally [as in 5 minutes ago] I wrote up a post about how awesome the architecture in downtown phoenix is. Although it is pretty incredible, the post was yawn inducing at best.

Onto plan B.

If you haven't learned yet, my brain goes a million miles a minute which usually means my thoughts end up in the middle of no where. And then my thoughts try to figure out how I got there and somehow take another big detour and again, I try to figure out how I got there. I can't remember for the life of me how I got here, but I was just thinking, "It's a good thing I'm married...because I was a really bad dater."

That's right. Time to share some dating stories.

I can say this because I'm married, but once upon a time, I was thought of as a creeper. To me, things just aren't a big deal. Once I asked a friend to go with me to a co-workers wedding. I thought of it as just some fun, free food and supporting a co-worker. I didn't know that boys thought of wedding "dates" as such a forward committment binding move. He thought of this as me saying "oh em gee we are so going to be next in this getting married business and i'm taking him to a wedding so this is a big deal and we're going to have 9 baby girls and he's going to buy me a 2 karat ring and propose in Italy and I'm so the bomb!" Long story short, the committaphobe was a meanie to me because he thought I was proposing and I wasn't even interested. Oops. Now come to think of it, the introducing to
 "uh...this is my friend"
"you're FRIEND, huh?"
Yeah that was awkward.
Lesson learned. 

Similar story, I invited Clint to dinner at my parents after our first date. I didn't think of it as a "oh, come meet my parents and i'll decide if imma keep you around" thing. I more thought of it as "oh hey, you're a starving college boy, my mom cooks real good and I kinda like to look at you so this will be nice." Plus he invited me over that night and I already had plans with my family. I just combined the two! He thought it was really forward [oops], but I guess it worked! 

Then of course there were those blind dates set up by friends that made me want to say, "oh, lookie there. There's my house. Go ahead and drop me off. Yes I live at QT. Don't ask questions. You don't even have to stop, just slow down and I'll hit and roll."

Oh. This is my favorite. There was this one double date that my best friend and I went one. He asked me to drive because, you know, he didn't want us to mess up his car or anything. Wish I was kidding. Then we were walking to my car after dinner and the two of them straight up got in a fist fight in the parking lot. We're just sitting in the car wide eyed staring at each other. Remember that Britt? Oh and do you remember how he said something about me being sexy [while licking his lips and looking me up and down] and I sort of yelled at him and told him he could not talk to me like that and how I deserved respect and then I almost punched him in the eye? Oh and your date said how he was in jail or got arrested or something crazy. Then there was that time where he wouldn't let me out from the booth to go to the restroom and I almost crawled on the floor out. Then there was that time he "pretended" to grab me and that was it and I took them "home" but dropped them on the side of the road that was close enough?

Then there was that time more than once where the boy didn't open my door so I walked over to his side of the car, grabbed his hand, and led him to my side to open my door. 

Then there was that guy who asked me out multiple times and then when I said yes stood me up. And then I talked to him on the phone for like an hour about how you don't treat people like that. We turned into really good friends actually. 

Wow this is getting embarrassing. 

Then there was that date where the boy, who I thought shared my religious beliefs, attacked what I believed in and played me weird music with high pitched elf voices singing about fish heads. 

Then there was the boy who took me slow dancing under the stars on our first date over Valentines weekend and it was really romantic and it really freaked me out but then later I realized he was a really great guy and we got to be great friends and still are. 

Then there was the boy who after one date was bringing me gifts to work and leaving gifts on my door step and being really forward so I decided to give it a chance and then he was like WOAH I'm not ready to get married and I was like I don't want to get married I don't even know about next week pal I was just goin with the flowin you were makin. 

Then there was the time I learned about my dates anger management problems when we got lost and I was about to ask if I could ride in the backseat the rest of the way.

Then there were the typical stories. The boys with such bad breath they made you want to turn into a fish so you'd never have to breathe air again. There's always the forward boys who go into kiss you right as you're thinking they would get along really well with your little brother [as in the they're really immature and play war of warcraft erry day].  

Then of course there were the countless mistakes I made. All the tears I cried over boys who never really cared about me. The time I went back to the guy who cheated on me because he groveled and I really thought he changed then he did the same thing a week later. [insert puke sound effects here] Then there were of course the times in my younger days where I thought I had to adapt my personality into what they wanted. I thought I had to change my clothes, hair, body. Thank goodness high school is over. There were the boys I was much too bold with and much too forward [mostly on accident]. There were the times my attraction was based soley on looks. There were times I should have been more gentle with precious hearts. There were times I got a tad too jealous of the girl dating the boy I thought was "the one." Live and Learn I guess!

But then there was that one special date. The only first date I can honstely say I loved and wanted to go out again. Previously, I didn't care which way they went...I was never all that interested. There was the boy that swept me off my feet. The one who embraced my independance, boldness, and yes, daily sweatpants.
He respected me, loved me, and cared for me. I didn't have to worry about him not being loyal to me, lying to me, or being disrespectful. He's more than I could have dreamed of in my dating years. I wish I could express how much I mean that. If you're in the dating stage of life, remember you deserve to be respected. When it's too hard, it's usually a big red flag. Real life Princes exist. Work at becoming the person you think your prince deserves. And most importantly, if there's someone out there for my ridiculously creative, dreamer, sometimes over emotional self, there's someone out there for you too.
Isn't that right sweetheart? :)

p.s. If you have any crazy dating stories, leave them in my comments. I seriously want to hear them!
oh, and also, I didn't proofread or spell check. Sorry about the spelling errors I just don't even feel like fixing them.

And I'll leave you with this:


Brooklyn McKenna said...

My friends cousin who really only knew me by my facebook profile picture asked me out. He was asking about school and stuff and he ended up saying "wow. I thought you were just a dumb, ditzy blonde. I never thought you could think for yourself and be smart." Ouch. Apparently blondes get a pretty bad rep. haha. awkward.

Mrs. Ali said...

Oh my gosh this is such a good idea to poat about! Only thing is I didn't date very much. I got told by a guy in high school that I was more of a friend friend than a date friend hahahaha. I can count the dates I've been on (other than my hubs and dances in high school) on one hand hahaha

But I think I'll still post about them just for fun ;)

Sara Shoemaker said...

hahaha you have some of the funniest dating stories ever. You sure had a lot of boys after you! :) I'm glad you finally found your prince charming, isn't it great to get out of the awkward dating scene?! anyway thanks for your comment lovely!

The House of Shoes

Chelsea said...

This title totally got my attention. Ha ha.

I didn't really date that much. Probably because I'm a giant, and boys are scared of me.

But, one time I did go on a date with this one boy, and he spilled ice cream down my blouse while animatedly talking to me. That would have been awkward enough, but then he went and grabbed it off of my shirt and continued to eat it!

Tereza said...

Thanks for visiting my blog!!!
Dating stories are always fun! unfortunately I don't have many of my own because I met my husband at 15 lol.

Emma Frances said...

Oh my goodness your stories are hilarious! I dated a lot but I don't think I have nearly as many funny/ weird stories. I'll have to think about it some more though! :)

Anonymous said...

Okay- This is about Alexis' Uncle Alan. I am now married to him. It took me two months to get up the nerve to ask him out and planned the date for August 4, 2011. I told him he could buy me dinner and I would take him to see Styx and REO Speedwagon at the Outdoor Tuachan venue. It is beautiful and backs up to red rocks and you can see just about every star in Utah and the whole stage, because it only seats about 200 or so.

Anway, to foil my plan he asked me to marry him on May 30, 2011. We left for Vegas that night. Shortly after we had all three of our boys 16, 14, and 12 for the entire summer.

August 4, 2011 was not spent at Tuachan! It was spent shooting at the Matheson Campground about ten miles behind our home with the four men of my life.

Our big joke (Alan and I) is that he was too cheap to spring for dinner so he married me, bought me a Pink Sapphire, and a Ruger MarkI with target sites. Clearly more expensive than dinner. We laugh about it all the time and call it good.

Alexis is right- Good guys, don't always have perfect hair. My guy does, but most of all he loves me more because of my flaws and quirks than anyone else has loved me ever.

Courtney B said...

Hahaha!! Ok I'm working out of town and I was feeling really bummed out because I'm missing Eric like crazy.... but this post just brightened my day right up! I loved it so much :) so thank you!
And you do have some crazy stories... LOVE 'em!

Jessica said...

1. Dating sucks. So glad I found my prince Charming :D

2. i LOOOOVE Taylor <3

britt said...

haha that was for sure the worst date ever! absolutely ridiculous! glad we went on it together though just so that we can attest to the validity of the craziness haha

Get Craftlicious said...

Hahahaha! I'm a little late on this but I LOVE this post! If I knew what I know now back in high school, I would have been hot shizz... Seriously, I was like you and would pretend to be someone I wasn't, and on top of that I just assumed boys didn't like me. I guess what they say is true, confidence is key! Awkward dating story is actually my first kiss (you know the guy Alexis, but let's not name names haha!). He walked me halfway up my driveway and gave me this really long hug. I was just like "what the crap is he doing" especially cuz I had a hot cocoa in one hand and my purse in the other, so it was super awkward. Then all of a sudden he pulled back and planted one on me, and I didn't know what to do since my hands were full! So I'm basically standing there frozen and he just keeps kissing me and kissing me! It was like that scene in She's the Man at the kissing booth when the nasty kid is kissing the cute girl and she's just like eeew make it stop! Sorry it's a novel, but crap... It was so awkward.

Janna Renee said...

I did my own post inspired by this! I linked it back to your blog too ;)