Thursday, August 25, 2011

Momma said there'd be days like this

You guys are the sweetest.
Honestly, your comments are much better writing than my posts. Ya'll should just skip my posts, and read the awesome comments each other writes. It felt really good to know how many of you have been in similar situations and how you've felt the same way before. It made me realize that probably the biggest thing I need when I'm upset is just to have my feelings validated. Any one else? I can't even tell you how bugged I got when people would tell me I was SO lucky I wasn't in school last semester? Fa real? Because you can be in my same situation. You can withdrawal from school if you want. I can't be in your situation. And really, what's so fun about being so incredibly sick you can't do anything? Why is being woken up several times a day with needle pricks fun? [If you look at my engagement pictures, you can see the bruises from all the pricks.] I'm just missing the fun in that. Oh, and then only get back $1400 from the $5000 you paid. NBD. Then do all the work over again. And graduate a semester late. Oh, and then have to pay that 5K [with interest] AGAIN. Sounds like buckets of fun, don't it? Wow, I really shouldn't talk about this. It just makes me vent. Negative nancy was YESTERDAY, self! Get with the program!

First let's talk about how terrible cramps are. They're terrible. If they were an egg, I would drop it off a very high bridge over a busy highway that will then crumble down the mountain [?] and be devoured by egg thirsty sharks [?!?!]. I hate eggs by the way.

So now let's talk about how people are crazy.
I was in my nutrition counseling class yesterday [we're learning about the psychological side of people's eating habits], we were talking about communication and yadda yadda yadda. My professor asks if anyone has kids. She picks a raised hand from the back of the room and asks how old they are. He says, "my dog is 8. So I guess technically he's 64 on dog years."
Let's get two things straight.

These are dogs:
source
These are kids.
source
You might think that since you dress your dog up in clothes, throw it birthday parties, and fix it gourmet dinners that it turns into a person. But alas, it does not. Sorry, but no cigar. 

There are several very clear reasons that dogs and kids are different, and as a result should be treated differently.
Example 1: You should not put a kid inside a cage. Tempting at times, but DO NOT DO IT.
Example 2: Dogs drink out of the toilet. Please don't let your kids do that.
Example 3: Kids can talk. Oh wait, looks like I was proven wrong. Scratch that.
Example 4: "rolling over" on demand is typically not a big accomplishment for kids. If you give your kids a treat when they roll over, by all means, interject now or forever hold your peace.
Example 5: It is basically socially acceptable for dogs to poo anywhere outside, as long as the owner picks it up. does this need any more explinatione?
Example 6: A "guardian" for a child is called a parent. Say it after me, parent. For a dog, it's called an owner. Not quite the same thing.
Example 7: This is probably the biggest difference. Kids have thumbs. Typically.

Now we should probably talk about this crazy guy on the train today. He made a wig for himself out of pop tops. POP TOPS. You may not have a home, but dude, you are creative. Can you imagine how heavy that would be?!

Next on the agenda, let's talk about how handsome my husband is.


The verdict is in. Hottie! Man I'm so lucky.

p.s. you should click on that source link for the kids picture. It's talking about what kids think about marriage.  Here's a few of my favorites in case you're too lazy to click up there.

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
- Ricky, age 10 [made me do the not so pretty spit everywhere laugh.]

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

(1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
- Kelvin, age 8

6 comments:

Chelsea said...

You are cute, you are cute, you are cute.

And I love your husband's checkerd outfit with the tie. That one is great.

Also.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Since when did looking like a "truck" become an appropriate descriptor? Love that. Definitely going to use it in everyday conversation.

Emma Frances said...

First another dogs can talk video that I love: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXo3NFqkaRM&feature=related

Moving on...My husband and I loved your examples of why kids and dogs are NOT the same. We got a good laugh out of it. Also, you and your husband look goood! Don't you just love looking at all your fancy professional photos? It makes me want to get some more done for our first year anniversary. Not that we have the money for that or anything. But it'd be fun! And finally, the things that kids say crack me up! I just read yours so far but I'm on my way over to read the rest.

Good luck with everything!

Brooklyn McKenna said...

I love this post! It's nice to see that your favorite positive people in the world are still normal! you are a great example to me :)

karajean said...

I laughed at the dog/kid thing, but I do have to argue with one of them. I have 5 month old niece, and man, when she learned to roll over on her own, BOTH of her parents were ecstatic!! Haha!

MONICA said...

You make me laugh so hard:) I love how honest you are about your feelings. Too many blogs are all about the perfect things in life. Yours says it like it is with a funny positive twist!!!

The Dayleys said...

Darling blog. Thanks for dropping by mine :) I have to say that I'm a dog mamma and I laughed at your kid vs dog comparison. LOL.Yes there is a Big difference -- 2 legs vs 4 legs ;) Cute post.