Not in a I'm-better-than-you-because-you-do-blakity-blank kinda way.
But because I see a great person, who I love, that has imprefections- and they're still amazing!
So maybe, that means it's okay that I have a few too.
It's easier for me to be tolerant of others' faults than my own.
I realize that it's okay for others to be sad, feel upset, forget something, make mistakes...but if it's me, it is NOT okay. If I loose my patience once I must be an impatient person. I beat myself up about it til the sunrises...and then start over. Lather rise repeat.
And there you have it, I'm a perfect imperfectionist. Or an imperfect perfectionist. Whatever you prefer- I aim to please!
I'm a walking contradiction.
But then I realize that we all are.
Characteristics aren't absolute.
If someone is patient it doesn't mean they are 100% of the time.
If someone is smart it doesn't mean they can't get a bad grade.
If someone is frugal, it doesn't mean they never splurge on something they love.
I have a million of those.
- Despite my perfectionism for myself, I actually prefer some things imperfect. I liked when my choreographed dances didn't look perfect. I love when something I make looks handmade, not perfect. I like when a few hairs are out of place. I like freckles. I really see beauty in imperfections.
- I've very independant, but I feel loved when someone serves me.
- I'm smart with problem solving, but I stink at tests and memorizing.
- Sometimes I'm confident, sometimes I'm not.
- I'll have strawberry qunioa home-made cereal for breakfast, but a Dr. Pepper and chocolate with my lunch.
- I'm fine being lazy days on vacation, but can't be lazy for a half hour to watch a TV show.
- I am stubborn about 24% of the time. A pushover for 12% of the time. And somewhere inbetween the rest of the 64%
- I had never cried in a movie until recently. Now I cry during 30 second commericals. The dog ones get me every time. There's a reason I don't keep my credit card close when I watch TV.
- I think more than $10 is way too expensive for a shirt, but I have no problem buying all the healthy [expensive] produce. Why are all the high antioxidant foods so expensive? Berries. Avacados. Bell Peppers.
- Sometimes I care what people think, sometimes I don't.
- I hate talking on the phone or texting but could talk in person for hours on end.
- I'm all into time-management but sometimes spend more time managing my time than getting stuff done. Writing a to-do list is my favorite thing to do.
- All I've wanted to do since I was two years old was be the best mom in the world. Now that it's a possible reality, it scares me half to death. Wait...a newborns head is HOW big?!
I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. - Augusten Burroughs
I haven't figured myself out yet. So tell me, what are some of your contradictions?
Photos courtesy of my amazing friend, Andrea Wanlass at Anlyn Photography.
First two photos are unedited.