Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Your life is perfect, my life sucks.

Has someone told you that before?
Does it drive you as bonkers as it does me?
My first inclination is always to spout off this long laundry list of things that have gone wrong in my life, unfair situations I've been put in, and just plain crumby areas in my journey of life. Because THEN they'd understand. The truth is, they probably never will. And telling someone my struggles to prove a point has just never seemed right to me for one reason of another.
People have problems. I think to assume someone has no problems would be ignorance at it's finest.
First off, it's not a competition. Your life is completely separate from someone else's. It's not a competition to see whose life sucks more, has more success, or more pain or happiness. It's it funny we compare both ways? Competing whose is either worse or better? 
Second, it's not even like comparing apples to oranges- it's more like comparing a kiwi to a spaceship. Really, it's impossible. Plus everyone's lives have points where they're going more smoothly than others. I feel like looking at another persons life when it's going better, is only going to make your life seem worse to you. That accomplishes no good whatsoever. And because someone's life seems to be going great, it doesn't mean it is, and it definitely doesn't mean they haven't have their fair share of un fair circumstances in the past.
Can I get an amen?
Thirdly, because someone doesn't talk about their problems doesn't mean they don't exist. It's silly to assume that you can know everything about someone....ever. People cope differently with issues. Some people prefer to handle things themselves, others feel better if everyone around them knows what they're going through. There isn't a correct answer.
Fourth, just because someone is happy or positive doesn't mean they aren't going through some monster trial. Way bigger than the monsters kids check their closest for. It's possible that they could find a thousand reasons to be negative, grumpy, or angry, but they choose to look at the five reasons they have to be happy.

Basically, my point is that it's safe to assume that it's never safe to make assumptions.
But somehow, it's almost an instinct. How? and WHY?!
You know guys, sometimes us humans just don't make sense!


Jen said...

Very true. Oftentimes when I read blogs I find myself comparing myself to others, thinking how much better other people's lives seem, cause they're married, have kids, a nice house, etc. But then I have to remember everyone has struggles, and I need to be grateful for my life even if (in my mind) it doesnt quite "match up." My life isnt perfect... but it's perfect enough. Everybody struggles and everybody has hard things in their past. Good advice, and I LOVE how you said, some people choose to look at the reasons to be happy instead of focusing on the bad... this is something I have been working on and doing well with recently and I think it's a great outlook to have.

Chelsea said...

Amen, girl. Everyone has problems. That's right. Everyone. But, not everyone wants to broadcast them all the time. Actually, I don't know anyone who would want to do that. Whoever said that to you is probably just insecure, or whatever.

I once had someone tell me, "If you treat everyone like they're going through a really hard time, you're probably treating them right." And it's so true! We all fight our silent battles.

Thanks for sharing!

Shalyn said...

AMMMEEEEENNNN! I sooooo love this! Its funny, because I had someone tell me that a few weeks ago. Life was actually going pretty great a few weeks ago. But you know what? A week later all that changed. Just because my life seemed good one day doesnt mean it is...we all have our ups and downs!

I hope your life is on the up:-)

megan danielle said...

i love this post and agree with every single word! i get this alllllll the time...but i just grin and bear it the best i can, thats all we can really do right?

Dana Richards said...

Thanks for the daily inspiration!

Katie said...

I completely agree! One of my favorite quotes by Elder Packer says:

"Some are tested by poor health, some by a body that is deformed or homely. Others are tested by
handsome and healthy bodies; some by the passion of youth; others by the erosions of age.

Some suffer disappointment in marriage, family problems; others live in poverty and obscurity.
Some (perhaps this is the hardest test) find ease and luxury.

All are part of the test, and there is more equality in this testing than sometimes we suspect."

We're all trying to get back to the same place :)

Becca and Derek said...

Totally agree! Everyone has a beautiful life; you just need the right eyes and attitude to see it.

LaynahRose said...

AMEN :) haha.

Lili said...

Alexis, I feel you have a wisdom that is far beyond your years ;-) Well said. Humankind in general would have far less troubles if everyone was as insightful as you are.

Relatable Style

val said...

this spoke to me this morning as I am currently in the midst of one of the hardest trials of my life. I am coping and staying positive and I have faith that god will work it all out! thank you for this post today.

ashley.warner said...

I am sensing some frustration from you girl!
but i will give you the AMEN you're askin for.

I hope things get smoothed out. and that the monster doesn't get too big.

you're an amazing lady with a positive outlook on life. Keep being yourself. LOTS OF LOVE lady!

iheartkiwi said...

So true! I think it's human nature to assume the grass is greener on the other side!

You're totally right, you should never make assumptions about someone's life.

Ashley Sloan said...

Um so true!!! And I think it is always good to have a heart of gratitude :)

Ashley Sloan

Autumn said...

Ohh, thanks for sharing this!!! It's so true. I'm just glad that I know there is a plan...and our life is not meant to be a rut.