I hate Ikea.

Me and Ikea used to have a great relationship.

Not anymore. Not since she birthed this ugly creature:

This, friends, is the desk my future husband is in love with. Except it doesn't even have the storage of the drawers on the side. This desk even makes a little sense. But his? It's huge. The picture is not actual size, fyi. Times it by 143, and that's about right. It's big, bulky, and has absolutely zero storage. Might as well be a (ugly) table. There's a little problem with this, seeing as how we're going to be living in a teeny 1 bedroom 680 square foot apartment. Since you guys are smarter than me, you're going to help me figure out what to do. The only way I see it, we have exactly 5 options:

1) borrow Gru's shrink ray and store it in the shower. When we're not using it of course. Duh. Come on people.

2) Use it for our awkwardly shaped kitchen table. Bright side: we could play footsie all dinner. Dark side: we could kick each other all dinner.

3) Donate it to Goodwill while he's at school or work. What are the chances he would talk to me again?

4) Tell him I saw a poor homeless kid on the street who needed a desk. Why in the world would a poor homeless kid be in dire need of a desk? Actually, I could also tell him it cought on fire and was the only thing that burned.

5) We play rock paper scissors to see if the desk stays, or I do. There simply isn't room for both. I wonder which one he would be playing for. Hm.

And there you have it. If you have any better ideas, please share them with me. If you guys don't tell me what to do, 3 is my default. I will take it to goodwill and tell him it burned/broke/got stolen.
Sneaky Sneaky.