Saying the adjustment to motherhood has been difficult would be an understatement. Let me be clear. I'm not talking about how great it is because it's SERIOUSLY AWESOME. Sometimes SERIOUSLY AWESOME things can also be seriously difficult too. Ain't that the truth?
I went from having both school and work to staying at home with my sweet girl. I love it, but it's totally different. I hadn't realized how much success at school, work, and the relationships at both were part of my identity. I didn't realize how much of my self worth came from doing well in those areas of my life. Sorry to sound cliche, but its like I'm trying to discover who I am all over again.
Basically what I'm trying to say is since having this baby I have an intense need to get out.
Like, I'm going crazy people.
But with a husband doesn't have spare time sufficient enough to tell me the time, we haven't had any time for dating.
BUT I NEED TO GO OUT!
This weekend I had the genius idea of momma-baby dates!
First let me say that taking babies out in public can be a little stressful. They have a lot of gear and there's a million things you have to bring "just in case." Then there's also the variables. You don't really know when they're going to decide to throw a fit or spit up everywhere or need to eat or poop through their cutest outfit. I've taken her out plenty of times before but I always have the above possibilities at the back of my head robbing some of the fun of being out. This time I decided to just take things as they come. I decided to be calm and embrace the situation. This small attitude adjustment made all the difference and we had a great time. We went to a nearby shopping center and walked around for hours. When she was hungry, I found a bench and I nursed her. I decided to not even pay attention to people walking by so I wouldn't even know if I got weird looks. No big deal.
I know this is so simple and so silly, but I'm pretty proud of myself. I feel like by going out and not being stressed about it I reclaimed some of my independence. Figuring out how to still be me while putting my baby first and transitioning into motherhood has been difficult and I'm sure will continue to be difficult, but I'm making progress.
Plus, I had the cutest date around!