Hi friends! It's been so long. First, I haven't posted on here in forever because my blog has run out of space and I can't upload any pictures! I need to fix that. Second, I've been so crazy busy. Basically, it's a really good day if my hair and clothes are clean. You should see our apartment. Did you know that there's only 3 weeks left until graduation? 5 weeks left until my due date. Life is about to get crazy!
[to understand what I'm talking about below, you should know that after you get a dietetics degree, you still have to do an internship for about a year and pass an exam before you can be certified. The internship is basically another year of school on steroids. The tuition is expensive. It demands a lot. Usually minimum 40 hours. You do rotations in clinical (hospitals), public health, nutrition management, etc. Compared to what you can do with the RD certification, your options are pretty limited without it.]
That's what I wanted to talk about today. I just attended a meeting held by the internship director at ASU. To be honest, I'm feeling a little bit hopeless. I had a plan after graduation. Apply for part time local internships that will start the Fall of 2013. I'd stay home with Ainsley until she was about 8 months old, and then we'd work childcare between family, close friends, and my husband while I did my internship part time. Still not knowing if this is what would happen, at least having a plan gave me comfort.
I learned that I can't get into the part time internship I was hoping for without working full time for one year, OR, of course I could do the full time options. The full time part is the part that makes my heart sink. The thought of working full time and leaving my baby for so much time makes me want to cry. I want to be able to be a full time mommy and a part time dietitian. I always want my family to come first. I feel good about my goal of getting my internship and having a career. I don't think there's anything wrong with moms working. In fact, I think it's a great thing! As long as the children don't suffer, of course. It's good to be well rounded.
But I'm so confused. I feel so strongly about getting my certification and working, but it doesn't seem like it's possible. I know the most important thing I'll do in life, besides being a wife, is to be a mother. I want with all my heart to be the best mom ever! But does that mean pursuing goals in other areas of my life means I'm sacrificing my family? I don't think so...but where's the balance??
Do I put my sweet baby in daycare full time for 10 months to get my certification that will open a lot of doors for our family in the future? That doesn't feel right...but neither does giving up. Women, we have a tricky balance to find, don't we?