Friday, November 30, 2012

Kids or Careers

Hi friends! It's been so long. First, I haven't posted on here in forever because my blog has run out of space and I can't upload any pictures! I need to fix that. Second, I've been so crazy busy. Basically, it's a really good day if my hair and clothes are clean. You should see our apartment. Did you know that there's only 3 weeks left until graduation? 5 weeks left until my due date. Life is about to get crazy!

[to understand what I'm talking about below, you should know that after you get a dietetics degree, you still have to do an internship for about a year and pass an exam before you can be certified. The internship is basically another year of school on steroids. The tuition is expensive. It demands a lot. Usually minimum 40 hours. You do rotations in clinical (hospitals), public health, nutrition management, etc. Compared to what you can do with the RD certification, your options are pretty limited without it.]

That's what I wanted to talk about today. I just attended a meeting held by the internship director at ASU. To be honest, I'm feeling a little bit hopeless. I had a plan after graduation. Apply for part time local internships that will start the Fall of 2013. I'd stay home with Ainsley until she was about 8 months old, and then we'd work childcare between family, close friends, and my husband while I did my internship part time. Still not knowing if this is what would happen, at least having a plan gave me comfort. 
Until today. 
I learned that I can't get into the part time internship I was hoping for without working full time for one year, OR, of course I could do the full time options. The full time part is the part that makes my heart sink. The thought of working full time and leaving my baby for so much time makes me want to cry. I want to be able to be a full time mommy and a part time dietitian. I always want my family to come first. I feel good about my goal of getting my internship and having a career. I don't think there's anything wrong with moms working. In fact, I think it's a great thing! As long as the children don't suffer, of course. It's good to be well rounded.
But I'm so confused. I feel so strongly about getting my certification and working, but it doesn't seem like it's possible. I know the most important thing I'll do in life, besides being a wife, is to be a mother. I want with all my heart to be the best mom ever! But does that mean pursuing goals in other areas of my life means I'm sacrificing my family? I don't think so...but where's the balance??
Do I put my sweet baby in daycare full time for 10 months to get my certification that will open a lot of doors for our family in the future? That doesn't feel right...but neither does giving up. Women, we have a tricky balance to find, don't we?


Sean and Deana said...

We so do! Tricky, Tricky. I think every situation is different but I have to say that working full time to put my hubby through school was the hardest thing for us to decide. Its really really hard. I won't lie. Sometimes I have days I wish I was a stay at home mama and I feel like working was wrong. But most days I just put my trust in the Lord and know that its what is best for our family right now. Noah still loves me so much even though I'm gone for 9 hours during the day. We have an amazing bond. And I feel good knowing that I'm helping my husband to get the degree he needs to support our family. I can't wait til he graduates though and I get to be a stay at home mom. This decision takes lots of prayers and probably tears either way. I know what ever you chose will be the best for your little family. You are wonderful :)

Katie said...

It is a very tricky question, and it probably requires a somewhat tricky answer...which is probably that it's different for everybody. I know that you and Clint are probably already praying about it, and that is the most important ingredient right there. Heavenly Father will help you guys know what's best for you. But either graduate in like two weeks and that has got to be a step in the right direction!!!! :)

Sarah said...

We chose for my to stay home and not finish my degree (for now). My babies need ME and, honestly, I was getting burnt out of school anyway. However, it's an individual choice and one that I would hope no one would judge another for, especially when it's made with lots of prayer/fasting/pondering. Good luck!

Mary Davis said...

I was able to finish school, but I didn't do any think extra- no internship or that, which I didn't really need being an English major- but it definitely limits me in future pursuits. But I did have to keep going to school after my daughter was born- two weeks after she was born in fact. But I only took 2 classes on campus, and then the rest of the classes I took for that semester and the one after were online. I had good friend who watched my daughter when I was at school, and then I watched her daughter while she was at school.
I am glad I got my degree. We have even talked about me getting my Masters. It was tough to get through my bachelors though. And I love spending time with my daughter. Eternally speaking, not much else in life will matter other than that you cared for her. But right now it is so important. I think you need to work out all your worries and do what your gut tells you to- things always work out.

megan danielle said...

wait, blogs can run out of space?? also, good luck on figuring everything out! i think about stuff like this all the time and one day im going to be nearly in your shoes. i hope everything works out for you and your family's best :)

Joy said...

I'm a friend of Jennalee's and blogstalk you now and then :). I wanted to let you know if you add another e-mail account as an author on your blog, and sign in via that account you will have picture space again :).

Also, with my son Dallin I had to work full time until he was 3 1/2. This is my first year not teaching and I LOVE it. I always wanted to stay at home with him but financially it didn't work out. I'm sure you and your hubby will figure out what is best for your situation.

By the way, my blog is :).

katilda said...

Oh man, not a fun place to be in. Single girls run into this problem as seems like the world should be our oyster, but at the same time we have to leave ourselves open to and in a good location/situation to find marriage. So then do we enroll in grad school? Because what if we get married and a baby comes along and we've got all that debt and don't end up getting a good job to pay it off? So do we just sit and wait? What if we're still single 5 years from now and wishing we had gone for it? I feel like it's easier to make a 5 or 10-yr plan as a guy because even if they get married or become a father it doesn't necessarily interrupt or complicate the other stuff. Granted, the weight to be the provider isn't a pressure I would necessarily want so I'm not saying they have it easier in all ways. Now I'm rambling. of luck with this decision. A mama who's present is important, but so is a mama who's well-rounded and happy. If something enriches your life and makes you happy, it can't harm your children too terribly. I doubt you'd let it get imbalanced, seeing as how you obviously already care!

Amy said...

Making decisions is hard! D&C sections 8 and 9 are so special to me and have helped me make some tough ones. Definitely study all your options and maybe even apply for some internships so that you keep that door open. Doing what's best for your family could involve an internship so that you're qualified to work if you ever need to. Over the course of your first 8 months with her, maybe you'll be able to feel it out and get some more clarity. Do some research, talk to your husband, and see how you feel about each option, then ask Heavenly Father if he agrees! I hope you get an answer that you feel great about!

Autumn said...

People will probably give you a lot of advice. I've found when it comes to having children and the way we use the talents God give us...should be between your husband and you.

I stopped a graduate program because I felt that I was neglecting my family while teaching full-time. It ended up being a huge blessing because I had too much to deal with, but I am looking into programs now and it is right. However, once I get into that situation there may be a new "right" for us.

I have received judgement in the past about different decisions we have made with God. However, we made the right decision for us. You'll make the right decision for your family too.

Kylie said...
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Shay said...

This is such a hard choice, I can't imagine. I can tell you one thing, though- the minute I met Brodyn the only thing that mattered was him! You just have to decide which route satisfies that:-)