Meet my friend Katie. Apparently she changed her blog name. It used to be "scruples", hence the title, but now it's Katilda? Well, either way. Katie is a delight! We know each other in real life too! Aweseom yeah? She's a super optimistic lover of people! You will love her back, I'm sure :)
I'm usually a pretty solid "live and let live" kind of person when it comes to the trivial matters in life. But at some point during my many childhood, I developed several strong opinions about what constitutes a proper display of Christmas lights and what crosses the line into garish-holiday-monstrosity territory. Can we say I'm an official authority on the subject? Since I'm the one writing this, ima go with yes.
Behold, the 3 Commandments of Christmas Light Displays:
[*cue epic theme music*]
1. Thou Shalt Use Appropriate Levels of Voltage
You know that scene in How the Grinch Stole Christmas, where Betty Lou Who vandalizes a traffic light to add epic levels of electrical cheer to her home? I swear there are actually people like this out there. We've all seen those houses -- the ones that make you feel like you need polarized sunglasses and a thick layer of sunscreen to even stand in the vicinity. This type of light display screams "keeping up with the Jones," and I don't recommend touching it with a 10-foot pole -- especially not a metal one.
2. Thou Shalt Not Be Monochromatic
I'll come out and say it: what's with the blue lights? There's one in every neighborhood -- that house that glows more like an extraterrestrial pod than a hub of yuletide cheer. There are so many colors out there, people! If your vision is really that centric on the blue hue, there's a very nice show in Las Vegas featuring bald-headed men in turtlenecks and body paint that I'm sure you will love.
3. Thou Shalt Not Inhabit Thy Lawn with Inflatable Charachters
A few animatromic reindeer and the occasional robotic polar bear are nothing to blow the whistle about. But let me be clear: if it requires a motorized pump and more than two square feet of lawn space, it does not belong in your Christmas display. I cannot tell you how many times I've driven through a neighborhood, enjoying a perfectly quaint and elegant array of Christmas decor, only to be jarred from my holiday joy by a larger-than-necessary Santa or Snowman, smiling eerily and glowing in garish proportions. I can handle the cheese and pomp on many other holidays -- Halloween, anyone? -- but at Christmastime it does nothing but make me wrinkle my nose and utter a "bah humbug" or two under my breath.
And there you have it, kiddos. Follow these to the best of your ability, and I can almost gaurantee you won't be the neighborhood eyesore this holiday season. So let it be written, so let it be done.
Ha! I love Katies advice. However, I'm gonna go ahead and speak my 2 cents and say you can never possibly have too many Christmas decorations. The more ridiculous the better, I always say! Kind of my life motto. ;) Thanks Katie!!