Saturday, June 18, 2011

The truth comes out.

While it's true that Clint and I love each other more than anything, that's not to say our relationship is without it's bumps in the road. For being newcomers to this whole marriage thing, I'd say we're pretty gosh darn good at it.
We hardly fight.
[I prefer to call fighting "having a serious conversation."]

But sometimes, I'm a brat. Please tell me I'm not the only one. Maybe I'll get frustrated over something silly like Clint putting salt on salsa I slaved ALL DAY [maybe not all day] over. And Maybe I worked especially hard to get lots of flavor in it so it didn't need salt. So then I get a little frustrated when he pulls out the salt shaker behind my turned back. Then maybe Clint sees that I'm frustrated and gets upset which moves me from minorly frustrated to full blown upset that he's "apathetic" about my frustrations. And then, let's say hypothetically, somehow this develops into me sobbing in my pillow about everything that's happened from the last time I cried all the way from not helping me with the dishes to leaving me [yes, alone] for four days in our drug and hooker infested apartment [call me a baby if you'd like, but would you want to be alone with the hookers and druggies? That's four days people.]. And then maybe I'll see that I'm being a brat and cry about how I'm such a terrible wife and then I become sure that Clint must regret marrying me. 

[wait, this all started about salt, right? Just checkin] 

Then, a lightbulb goes off.

We are two different people. No matter how much we love each other and how compatible we are, this is real life. Real life takes work. It takes work to understand the other person's feelings and words. It takes work for Clint to try and understand my feelings and to see that 90% of the time, it goes deeper than the suface issue [anyone seen p.s. I love you? Remember where they're arguing? Like 10 minutes of fighting go by before the real reason she's upset comes out. Guilty as charged.] and also that at a certain point in the month my emotions need to be taken with a grain of salt- but not discounted. Likewise, it takes work for me to be patient in trying to explain how I feel to Clint instead of figured he should already [because come on. it's so obvious] know what is bothering me and what I need from him.

And it's done.
We come up with a game plan for how to better handle our next "serious conversation."
We hug, kiss, and sleep tight.

This is real life, people. Clint and I have our challenges, but there's no one else I'd rather share them with. Above all, I feel so lucky to share this journey of life with such a great boy.

"Choose your love, then love your choice."
-President Gordon B Hinckley on marriage.
I love my choice!


Kaycie said...

It happens to everyone, I think. Or at least us :). What a perfect way to solve it though. Love that last quote!

Shalyn said...

So, remember when I commented saying your updates weren't showing up on my reader? They all did. Just now.

How weird is that?

Anywho, yes- this is so normal on all levels but I love that at the end of the day you recognize that marriage is WORK and that you can just kiss and be okay in the end.

Tim said...

Great Blog Alexis! I really liked this post.

Caitlin said...

I am just loving your blog. Unlike so many others, I feel like you are so real about your marriage. You share how wonderful it is and the not so easy parts. I love your honesty, you're just so cute!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for visiting my blog earlier today! I absolutely adore my husband, but we have our ups and downs too--just like every other couple if we're honest! We've been together about 8 years and married 1! It's been a fun, yet bumpy ride which I love because we've learned so much about each other and have a lifetime of learning ahead of us!
Have a great weekend!

megan danielle said...

i just wanted to let you know that i love your blog so much! i always save it for last to read because its my favorite :) and thanks for all the advice youve been giving...although i wont be a newlywed for a bit its fun to hear!

Gentri said...

Haha! I've heard lots of stories like that. :) you are not alone.

ashley.warner said...

i love this!
you two are darling and perfecto for each other!

i love that quote by the way!

Lena said...

So cute! I love it!

karajean said...

You are NOT the only one! I swear! Yesterday I might have gotten upset over facial hair. Good thing Scott knows to feed me and let me take a nap when that happens... and yes, afterwards I do feel the "I'm a horrible wife" guilt. But it's only been 6 months and already we're getting a lot better at dealing with the silly stuff. Sounds like you guys will be great :)

Hope Adela Pasztor said...

What a lovely couple! =)

Anonymous said...

if it makes you feel better, I once went to the trouble to whip up mashed potatoes, and then fold them into spring roll wraps, and then cook them in oil on the stove. well, my lovely new husband then proceeded to chop it all into baby pieces and mash it all up. I got so annoyed, haha! I was like "arg! I could have just stopped at the mashed potatoes and saved myself half an hour!"

Amanda said...

I absolutely adore your blog, Alexis! I am your newest follower :) Back to reading more!

Courtney B said...

I love it Alexis!! All of this..SO true! In every relationship :)
You two are just the cutest! I love that you're figuring this all out SO early in your marriage!

Megan said...

This sounds exactly like me! Haha. I always get upset about something, which leads me to getting upset about how I'm a bad wife. Haha!! Oh women, we are SO funny.

Stephanie {Luxe Boulevard} said...

I'm a new follower. I saw you on Yeah, that's macho and tough.
Congrats on the wedding. I've been married for 7 years and feel like I'm just starting to learn how this whole thing works. Yesterday I got mad at my husband, stormed off upstairs (where he wasn't) and checked FB updates on my phone while I fumed. The whole thing started because I broke a mirror.
So yeah, you're not the only one who can be a brat. LOL!

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Ruby Girl said...

ahhh i love how real you are. and you are such a cutie with your words. "shnoz" a few posts up, tee he! totally bringing that one into circulation on my own blog :) anyway, fun read! <3